By ELLIOT AVE-LALLEMANT

March Madness: A time for all men to gather together in hopes of completing the perfect bracket. The crazy thing is that everyone finds out pretty quickly that getting a perfect bracket is impossible. This is my first time participating in March Madness, and I have some thoughts. 

First of all, is Kansas even a real school? That like, does basketball? The last time I checked on them, I thought they were good. I had them going to the final four, which shows you just how much I clearly don’t know about basketball. 

I put too much trust in Marquette, Louisville, Wisconsin, and VCU. I made half of those picks thinking I was a basketball genius, but I just looked so silly.

Duke might win, but I’m still sticking to my guns and I picked Auburn. I thought that Auburn beat Duke the last time they met, and I probably should have checked instead of guessing, but I’m sticking to my guns and staying with Auburn. I really hope I win too, because I have both of my brothers to prove wrong. 

I still hate Kansas for losing. Why did they do that? To Arkansas of all schools. Tsk tsk. I’m convinced that the University of Kansas is a psyop that exists only to be put on unsuspecting brackets, luring unsuspecting basketball fans into picking a really shitty team, and messing up their whole bracket. 

These are all my current thoughts, but hey, I can’t be that bad at picking teams, because I’m second in my group with a 87.9% success rate. Maybe being uninformed is the best way to go. 

Featured image: NCAA.com