By CLAIRE WINTER
It’s here, it’s square, it’s the new brain rot content fare: it’s “A Minecraft Movie!” Possibly the most memed-upon movie of the year (although certainly not the least asked for) and inheriting more nostalgia factor for millennials and Gen Z than Disney could ever muster, expectations for “A Minecraft Movie” have been…interesting. As someone both in the target demographic of “played Minecraft as a child” and “deeply intrigued by whatever the hell Warner Bros. managed to do to a beloved franchise this time,” I was naturally pirating it upon its release.
“A Minecraft Movie” is, in many ways, exactly what everyone expected. With a whopping 150 million dollar budget, the movie features Jack Black and Jason Momoa making jokes that display what 60-year-old men think is “trendy and cool” amongst the Youth these days. It rests entirely in the Uncanny Valley of typical Isekai stories, partially due to its inability to avoid using massive amounts of CGI and green-screening to insert actual human actors into “Minecraft.”
But more than that, for a movie so focused on creativity and its struggles (and one that pulls off so many genuinely insane plot points), it feels deeply, wholly unoriginal. The everyman-insert-for-middle-schoolers is bullied at school for his art-makin’ ways, messes up, is ostracized, and runs off to a fantasy world, where he learns the power of friendship and creativity and returns to be Super Awesome™. He also manages, in true-to-life middle-schooler fashion, to be the most annoying little shithead in existence.
“A Minecraft Movie” can’t seem to decide on a main character, flopping between the middle schooler (Sebastian Hansen), Steve (Jack Black), and…“Garrett the Garbage Man”, aka Jason Momoa in a bad wig. Every single line of dialogue is either bland or batshit, and occasionally both. And for a movie that already spends very little time on its characters, it somehow manages to sideline its women even more than the rest of the cast. This movie does pass the Bechdel test, but, genuinely, what are either of them even doing here? (Not to mention the absolute waste of Jennifer Coolidge’s appearances.)
However, I can’t dismiss the reception “A Minecraft Movie” has gotten from people already enthralled by its brainrot capabilities. Look anywhere on Instagram or TikTok to find endless clips of people chanting their favorite lines in movie theaters and cheering. In the week leading up to the release day, I was surrounded by memes from released trailers. (Also by people I formerly called friends singing a song named “Steve’s Lava Chicken,” which I can only describe as the little-known tenth circle of hell.) And for all the jokes that fall flat, there are a few highlights from this movie. I don’t know if the weird homoerotic tension between Jason Momoa and Jack Black was intentional or if it’s the result of blind directors and bored-out-of-their-mind show writers, but either way, I would bet excellent money there are a lot of Ao3 writers hard at work putting them hard at work. There are a few references to both famous YouTubers and series that audiences can catch, and the movie does genuinely seem to understand why they’re important as references- which is important when yanking a video game community (even one as big as “Minecraft”) into the much wider sphere of cinema.
I can’t say “A Minecraft Movie” falls into the “so bad it’s good” category. If not for the massive reception of fans hooked on the half-ironic, half-genuine, bland adaptation of a beloved childhood game, this movie would have rightfully flopped and been forgotten. But I also can’t begrudge people who want to see the movie for their favorite parts and the genuine fun of it. It’s a movie to make fun of with friends, even if it can’t manage more than that.
Featured Image: A clip from “A Minecraft Movie”
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