Ezekiel Kingsbury, Co-Editor-In-Cheif
This week, the Round Table had the pleasure of sitting down with not one, but two classic Beloit couples: Jane Price’26 and Sammy Slabaugh’26, and Chris Andaya’26 and Alison Eubanks’26.
To butter these guys up, the Round Table did call both of them the hottest couple on campus, though I am not sure if they bought it. But after brief awkwardness, Jane and Sammy discussed their skepticism on Valentine’s Day. Jane labeled it as a “stupid spend money holiday,” though they suggested that those with little in the way of funds could take advantage of this Thursday’s BOGO boneless wings special at B Dubs. Chris and Alison broadly agreed that making things special matters more than how much you spend. This couple has plans to watch a movie and drink some non-alcoholic juice. Both couples agreed: if you need Valentine’s Day to express your love, it might be time to reassess your relationship.
Balancing academics and love life can be tricky, but both couples emphasized the importance of doing mundane activities together, from homework to sharing meals. Jane and Sammy, in particular, benefit from their involvement in the Barbell Bucs, a club that’s gaining popularity in town with Jane at the helm as President.
The couples faced a snack challenge as the Round Table quizzed them on each other’s favorite vending machine treats. Jane and Sammy aced it, with Sammy correctly identifying Jane’s penchant for pistachios, and Jane calling out Sammy’s affinity for snacks with red-40. Chris correctly guessed sour cream and onion pringles, but unfortunately, Alison made the mistake of saying Chris eats vending machine hot dogs. Ouch!
For the partner who has it all, Jane said edible things were top of her list. Sammy elaborated that the best edible things were those hazelnut truffle things that “look like dog bones.” Chris said you should get your partner a DVD copy of the Disney original movie “Let it Shine,” though this gift seems to be very Chris-specific. “Frozen 2,” Alison suggested.
And, finally, for those lonely hearts, Jane suggested you look inward. “When you’re not searching for a relationship, the right person will enter your life. You have to be content with yourself first,” she said. “People can pick up on your desperation.” Sammy agreed that independence in a relationship is necessary, and you need to be okay with yourself before you can be okay in a relationship. Alison said we should celebrate the love we have for our friends, and if you don’t have friends, Chris suggests, “Join a club. Like the Round Table!”
The Round Table also received suggestions for the perfect Valentine’s Day from our Instagram. Viv Kopka’27 suggested “Thinking about the systems of which our current society is built upon.” George Carlson’23 suggested “Napping.” And Finn Waterman’26 suggested eating all of the Powerhouse’s tuna salad kits.
So we have our blueprint for the perfect Valentine’s Day: make it special, whether it’s with BOGO wings or a cozy movie night. Engage in mundane yet bonding activities, and consider an edible treat or a personalized DVD for your special someone. I am now ready to execute the perfect Valentine for the gf.
Round Table: Sophia, would you like to sit in the 609 basement with me and watch the 2019 smash hit “Cats”? I will provide dog food, and we can maybe think about capitalism or something during it.
Sophia Nitsche: No. Ew. What the f*ck? We’re done.
Shoot.
‘
Leave a Reply