By VIVIAN KOPKA
I found a bottle. Not just any bottle, a special bottle.
The day was sunny. I decided I wanted to explore the ol’ Art Haus for an endeavor, one that The Round Table is not privy to, when a glimmer on the sidewalk caught my eye. I called my partner Zeke (detective partner, not gender-neutral romantic partner) to further investigate. Hmm, a bottle with a faded label, probably beer.
“Zeke, this bottle looks antiquated. What do you notice?” I exclaimed. I kicked at it and noted the faint yellow label and the build-up of dirt inside.
“Uhm… looks like a bottle. I don’t know. What do you infer?”
“Of course you would say that, Ezekiel. It is always on the surface with you. You must look beyond the obvious.”
I documented said bottle, and continued on with my original project.
The story does not end here. See, my curious tendencies have a way of infecting my sleep, poisoning my waking hours. How old is the bottle? How long has it been idly waiting for me on the path to Art Haus? I decided to see what a specific population (my Instagram followers) had to say.
Results of polling:
on a sample size of 126 persons,
25.4% of people said 1-5 years
25.4% of people said 5-10 years
21.4% of people said 10+ years
27.8% of people said A grillion
But this was still not enough for me, Vivian Kopka–the woman who figures it out. Yep, that’s what they call me. So I returned to Art Haus in the later hours, and I took the bottle home with me.
The characteristics of the bottle–dark brown in color, faded yellow label with a barely visible “modelo” printed on–gave me sufficient information to conduct an investigation. Upon my extensive search on the World Wide Web, I figured that the bottle is that of a Negra Modelo, changed to Modelo Negra in 2014. Yes, 2014. So the bottle must be at least 10 years old.

I wanted to know more, I needed to know more. So, I employed the help of Jim Winter’97–who lives here in Beloit, Wisconsin. He once helped my friends Sophia Nitsche’25 and Cameryn Stenberg’24 with their metal-detecting endeavors. Conveniently enough, he also knows a lot about old bottles.
On our conversation medium, Facebook Messenger, he ordered me to clean the bottom of the bottle and send a picture. Immediately, Jim responded, “Def modern. 2010-2013.” So my suspicions were correct. He explained to me that because there are no markings on the bottom of the bottle, the production date is nearly impossible to determine.
Regarding the case of the Negra Modelo, the exact age of the bottle is still unknown, much like the age of an adult dog from a shelter, or the M&Ms in Commons. But, there is less glass on the sidewalk, and there are plenty of new, cold Modelos at C-Haus. So, I must put this case to rest.

Featured Image Credit: Vivian Kopka’27



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