By ERIC SEO
The leaves have fallen from the trees. It must, therefore, be fall. Another keynote tell that winter’s cold, dark hands reach towards the depths of our dirty souls is pumpkin spice seeping into every kilocalorie I consume. Pumpkins have long been a contender for ‘best autumn iconography,’ contesting blood red maple leaf, too-cold campfires, red and black flannel jackets intended to be worn by unnaturally large and alluring lumberjacks, cherry-red apples and their associated foodstuffs, cups of orgasmically comforting warm soup, and clips of Rory getting humbled in Gilmore Girls. In other words, ‘tis the season for pumpkins and their flavors. I must say their flavors, because pumpkin spice extends past the titular gord. Pumpkin spice is simply a mixture of spices and seasonings that the standard American pallet associates with pumpkins; it is commonly comprised of some combination of cinnamon, clove, ginger, all spice, and nutmeg. But what, I hear you, my dear reader, asking me, is the best pumpkin spice treat around town? To answer that, dear reader, I will give you what I know you so dearly desire: a numbered list. Let’s kick it off.
4. Starbucks – Iced pumpkin cream chai latte with light ice
Ok, ok. I know that we aren’t supposed to like Starbucks, but stay with me here: it tastes good. You’re telling me that I don’t even need to pay extra to get pumpkin cream cold foam on top of my little chai latte; sign me up. The pumpkin spice topping atop the seductive white cream is the cherry on top, or rather, the seasoning on top. It jumpstarts the fall flavors, hitting the nose with cinnamon (I think that’s actually all that it is) before that creamy sensation hits the tongue. The mouthfeel is truly special, akin to a milkshake that’s been sitting out for half an hour. Then, you get to a shitty chai latte that doesn’t really taste like chai, but it’s good. Who cares if it’s bad chai if it’s good food.
3. Blue Collar – Hot PSL
I couldn’t not include a pumpkin spiced latte on here. There is something about a hot coffee warming the body from the inside out. Blue Collar, having the best coffee in town, naturally takes to cake with this one. A modern classic, the PSL is what we as a society need to push us through the darker days. It keeps us awake, and when we get it, it is one of those little treats that stop the darkness from creeping in like a dementor and sucking the happiness out of our bodies until we are cold, dead, and lifeless like a student that has been in the corner of the Science Center for 6 hours with no breaks and 60% of their assignment left to complete.
2. Bagels and More – Pumpkin streusel muffin
The only non-beverage for a reason, Bagels and More’s pumpkin muffin is not just good – it is good. Like all good muffins, this one is arguable cake, with the streusel topping replacing frosting. Notably, this is the only item on the list that actually includes pumpkin in it. The pumpkin flavor is bold and punchy, backed up by an addictive, buttery topping. The cake is moist and tender, and exactly what you want to eat for breakfast.
- Bagels and More – Iced pumpkin spiced chai latte
The best pumpkin item from town is undeniable B&M’s pumpkin spiced chai latte. I have seen them make it before: they take scoops of some magical powder and blend it with your milk of choice. What makes this one special, dear reader, is the textural component. Blending the mix with cold milk does not result in an aqueous solution, leaving behind a glorious sediment of sugary goodness. Like the glitter of a fairy godmother, the powder that remains out of solution is the stuff of dreams. While sipping on a wonderful chai, one gets the pleasure of crunching on cinnamony, cardamomy sugar granules betwixt their soon-to-be-cavity-filled molars.
Featured Image: memedroid
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