As we cross from the excitement of the winter holiday season— Christmas, New Year’s, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc.— into the long slog of January-to-April, you might be struggling to keep warm (and motivated). Fear not! It sucks every year but also every year we persevere. Here are a few tips and tricks for you to not freeze to death in the polar vortex.
- Layers
Layers, layers, LAYERS. LAYER SO MUCH. When I say this will be a godsend, I mean it. Wearing jeans? Put some fuzzy pajama pants on and then your jeans. Undershirts, second undershirts, two coats. You will look ridiculous probably but you will be so so warm, and that’s the real win. Also, an obligatory mention for anyone who’s been living under a rock and hasn’t heard: fleece-lined tights are cute, warm, and mean you don’t have to shave your legs when you go out. Wins all around.
- Heated pads/blankets
Heated blankets are expensive, but if you keep waking up freezing at 4AM, these might be a peak solution. They keep you warm, can double as hot water bottles in a pinch, and prooooobably will not set your bed and/or room on fire.
- Accessorize
Do not take one (1) coat and yourself against the world, girl. It is cold out there. It will freezerburn the skin right off of your cheeks. I have committed this cardinal sin and it is truly not worth it. Thrift stores have a plethora of donated scarves, hats, and gloves for all of your needs. Failing that, your mom probably has an old bin somewhere. You may be clashing neon pink and puke-green, but you will be able to feel all your appendages at the end of it!
- Hot food
Or drink! We’re not picky. There is a reason, though, that so many winter foods are hot and filling. Your body is burning a lot of calories to keep you warm- give it a little assistance. Also I know you probably have spare hot chocolate somewhere. Boil some water (not in the microwave you cretins). Tea, coffee, reheated energy drink, whatever!
- Walk around
It may seem counterproductive, but one of the best ways to keep warm (indoors and out) is to not stand there in the cold. Cold, atomically, is just atoms slowing down moving around and bumping each other. The hypothetically coldest temperature our universe will ever experience or reach is the proverbial heat death, after every star dies and the background radiation from the Big Bang sighs and fizzles its way out. Nothing will move. All will be still. Did this bit of existential terror motivate you to start moving? Start moving.
Despite the winter months still ahead of us, this advice may be late for those of you who suffered through subzero temps this past week- the forecasts for the coming week mostly displays Beloit temperatures staying at a balmy high twenties to low thirties, and only small amounts of snow predicted. Still, we can never be too sure in Wisconsin- so keep warm out there!
Featured image: Claire Winter’28
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