Healthy Ways to Cope With Stress

By SVEA JONES

As finals barrel towards us this fall, with no signs of the library being finished, what are you meant to do? The pressure of performing academically and the places to study are limited. Try your best to focus and stay on task….but for the breaks between studying, what are you meant to do to cope with these feelings of dread and malaise? There’s an unlimited number of actions that can be taken to minimize your stress during this time…in a…relatively healthy manner.

SNOW BOOT BELL RUN

A snow boot Bell run, there’s nothing like a little adrenaline-rushed nudity in the velvety blanket of night. Go ahead, girl, embrace the cold and the momentum of gravity. There’s nothing quite refreshing like a bell run; the days are getting darker and the temperature colder, and the snow boots are a nice touch to prevent losing a toe or two to the frigid cold. Try not to lose a nipple or get any loose skin you may have stuck to the bell.

DELUSIONS OF CLEANING UP YOUR LIFE…AND COMPUTER

There’s nothing more satisfying than thinking you can erase and turn your life around in just 30 minutes. Join the delusion and delete unnecessary files, photos, and emails. A plus to deleting emails is minimizing the energy and resources needed to run the internet, lowering your Carbon footprint. Plus, you don’t need those couple thousand emails from 2021. Many people could say that about old photos of them. EEK

INCONVENIENCE OTHERS WITH YOUR SEXY FASHION

Melt people’s minds with your impeccable fashion. What’s stopping you from showing up to Commons in an Ash Fox ass fit. There’s nothing like rolling heads at your decision on clothing that day. Who doesn’t like a little attention, especially when all you have to do is throw on a little garb?

KISS A SQUIRREL, SHAKE HANDS WITH A RACCOON

You hear that knocking? They’re at your door. Your little furry friends want to lock in that house being sold in your joined rReal estate business with a handshake, and a squirrel solidifying a wedding agreement, and vows in the form of kisses. If you don’t have a little snack for your fuzzy Friends, at least you’re giving them a warm welcome with warm affection.

TORTURE THE GREENHOUSE KOI

There’s koi fish in the greenhouse. There’s koi fish in the greenhouse? Yes, there is! They live in the farthest room and are fed regularly, but if you peer over the edge and stand there. They are persuaded that you are providing food for them once again. Dependable, they bubble up to the border to catch the invisible food you throw into the water. Not anything to harm the fish, but being around them could minimize stress.

CAMPUS-WIDE HIDE AND SEEK

A big ol game of hide and seek has been weighing heavy on my mind since I started going here. Wouldn’t it be awesome to do a campus-wide hide-and-seek? And every 15 to 30 minutes, the radius of what buildings you can hide in starts dwindling. The rule of thumb is you can’t open doors or close doors when hiding.  Plus, a requirement would be to wear a flag football harness or something identifiable so you don’t accidentally find people who aren’t hiding. Let me know if you’re interested in planning this with me. (add QR code)

PLAYING TINDER

Mindless Tinder scrolling. You must lock in that baby gorl for cuffing season this winter before Christmas. Someone to cozy up with this winter. No harm, no foul when playing Tinder, even just finding new friends to smoke with or meet before you go home so you have something to do. It always lightens the mood, especially wanting to decompress and take a break from school.