Ella Diers, Editor-in-Chief
Here’s the thing: from an entomology perspective, ants are cool as hell. They have insanely complicated social structures within their groups, they bury their dead, and they’re slim-thick with tiny waists and huge butts. They’re really cool.
HOWEVER. What I DO NOT appreciate is when they are in my ROOM, on my BED, in my TRASH CAN, and on my WALLS. It is disgusting. And before you come for me, saying “Ella, maybe you’re just a disgusting, crumbly ho who has food all over her room,” just know that this is untrue. Not that my room is always clean or whatever, I live my life just like anyone else. But it’s not dirtier or crumblier than anyone else’s.
SO WHAT’S WITH THE ANTS? My theory is I inherited them from whoever had the room before me. My reason behind this is that ants are really hard to get rid of once you have them. I had them at the beginning of the year (no one else did) and they went away in winter (doing ant things, I suppose) and now they’re back.
Along with this theory is the theory that they favor rooms facing west. They’re only in my room and the bathroom, and some other people down the hall who also have west-facing rooms. Why do they do this? Perhaps they’ve found their way into that wall and haven’t figured out how to cross the hallway. Perhaps someone is playing a cruel prank on me. Perhaps they just really like watching the sunset.
Why do I have ants? The world may never know. But know this, Beloit College: I don’t fuck with them.
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