By VIVIAN KOPKA
You read the title. Must we always need an introduction?
5. Make a to-do list.
Instead of actually getting started, go ahead and make a to-do list on your notes app right next to the name of a restaurant your coworker recommended that you’re never going to go to. Of course, just like the countless book recommendations and shows and movies and psychiatry resources, your to-do list note is never going to be touched or seen again. It’s important to make it, though, so you feel a false sense of control and security.
4. Write a Round Table article.
Instead of doing your homework, contribute to The Round Table. Have you got an awesome recipe? A fashion blog? Do you want to defend your strong political beliefs? Maybe get canceled by the administration and the parents of Greek life participants? Definitely do this. It’s much more public than homework so your mistakes will definitely be reviewed and scrutinized. Instead of a 6/10 on an assignment, you could get an email from Dean of Students Ron Watson asking to meet with you. You can look disappointment in the eye instead of hiding behind a screen.
3. Call your mom/maternal figure in your life
Tell your mom you love her. Tell her about your day. Complain to her and let her give you wise advice that you will probably not take. Ask her for pictures of your pet if you have one. After fifteen minutes of talking about yourself, remember that she also has a life and ask her how she’s been. Feel guilty about not asking sooner.
2. Yourself
Tend to the flowers. Release tension.
1. YOUTUBE!
Treat yourself to a video that suits you. Lady Gaga VMAs Paparazzi performance. Slushy Noobz playing FNAF. 1992 Bulls Highlights. “Is Fortnite Overrated?” All of these are potential starts to a several-hour long YouTube rabbit hole. You never know where you’re going to end up. Statistically, you will end in a more right-wing spot than when you started.
Featured image: Betty Cavicchia’28
Leave a Reply